that's what I was aiming for

Finally, someone referred to my hair as "your mane." Thank you.

(Even better: he was a musician who'd just come off stage. I said, "You know, I was up there dancing the whole time." He said, "I know, I saw you - you were the only one I could see. I couldn't miss your mane.")

That might possibly have been the payoff for following musicians around all these years. And, you know, the music. The kind that makes you dance for nearly two hours.

he's the coolest

Raghu Dixit is playing in New York on Thursday, but it's a bad week and we don't have money for tickets. So even though it's been a while since I tweeted him (I'm rarely on Twitter of late), I tweeted him and asked if he could comp us:

Jennifer Zogott Levy @JennLevyBKLYN @Raghu_Dixit Dying to see you on Thursday but we are flat broke. Any chance we can get on the guest list? My husb and I loved the Sept show! - 24 Jul

More Tweets

Raghu Dixit @Raghu_Dixit @JennLevyBKLYN Sure thing! @GauravVaz kindly do the needful please. - 24 Jul

Gaurav Vaz @GauravVaz Follow @Raghu_Dixit @JennLevyBKLYN - oops I meant 25th! 05:58 AM - 24 Jul 13

Honestly, do they come any nicer?

And any of you in New York - do come see him at SOBs on Thursday night!

travels in Pennsylvania

Just spent two weekends in Pennsylvania: with Joyce in Pocono Mountain, and with Jannah in Yardley. I wouldn't say I know Pennsylvania well - hard to know any state well without doing a lot of driving - but I like Pennsylvania and have some good friends there.

Joyce's house is more rural and Jannah's more suburban, but it's all very different from my little castle in Brooklyn. Lots of talk about cars and boats and homes: costs and methods of repair and maintenance, comparisons, troubles, comparisons, and so on. Pool patches. Gardens. Guns. It's all very foreign to me, and some of it is very interesting, some...less so. But it's interesting to see how much less important my city-girl concerns are to non-urban folks.

It happened that there was a birthday party for John A. - his 60th - when I was at Jannah's, so we went to the party. I do love going to parties out around there (John is in Bordentown, NJ), except for some excessive drunkenness...and then it depends on who the drunk parties are. John was pretty rocked by the end of the evening, but he was very sweet and sentimental. Then there was another guy who was just plain obnoxious and was passed out by the time I left. (Needless to say, the latter was the only only guy at the party who flirted with me.) Some folks I knew and some I didn't. Linda made piles of food. John and his posse played some old-timey/bluegrass stuff, calling themselves "The Clam Daddy All-Stars," and even slightly out of tune, it was a good time. Before the weekend, I had a vague fear that V. might turn up, but I don't see John inviting him for a social occasion at this point. (One of the first times I V's incredible self-centeredness was when he was invited to John's wedding. V's response: "Why should I go?" Not a clue about being there for a friend. Of course, when he learned he'd have a chance to play, he decided to go.)

Jannah's life is insanely busy, like being inside a blender. She commits herself to a lot of stuff and then runs around like crazy. For instance, she joined a boat club so he could dock her boat (they actually call it a "yacht club," but the boats are not at all what you'd think of as a yacht). Next thing you know, she's an officer of the club and knows every single person there and is organizing all kinds of events. I accompanied her to a "short" meeting she was running there, which lasted three hours. Most of her boat pals are heavy-drinking white non-Jewish blue-collar men. Not really my crowd, though I met a few nice folks.

Things around Joyce are a lot more quiet. We went to see "Raymond, the Amish Comic" near Jim Thorpe, PA (we thought he'd be laughably bad, but he was actually pretty good). We walked around Jim Thorpe before the show, which is a quaint, touristy little town, not unlike New Hope. But the buildings were more impressive. It was certainly more relaxes in the Poconos than whizzing around between Yardley, West Trenton (where Jannah's boyfriend lives), Bordentown, and wherever the yacht club and the marina are (it's called the Bristol Yacht Club but I think the town is called Easterly).

I'm kind of all over the place here, but just wanted to post something...the bottom line, I suppose, is that it's good to get away, good to be with friends, and good to be with close women friends. Joyce and I have gotten pretty thick after years of not seeing each other - and when we did see each other, she was primarily my uncle's wife and not my pal. But we always liked each other, and in fact I absolutely worshiped her: she was so attractive, talented, funny, adventurous. Still is. And I still worship her a bit. And am so enjoying the way we slipped into a very warm friendship.

All of my women friends have been having bizarre relationship problems and arrangements (except for L., who doesn't have a boyfriend or boyfriends or girlfriends or husband or some combination thereof). Joyce's seems to be the simplest - which doesn't mean it's easy. But I can understand it. With some of my friends, I simply have to step back and just watch to see what happens.

A little plug: John's daughter Ashley and her fiance Joe have a charming blog called Our Bklyn. I feel like my blog has a lot of potholes in it, but their Brooklyn blog hits all the right notes.

some good causes

http://www.globalcitizen.org/Content/Content.aspx?id=c2ab94bb-3ff2-4564-a7e4-8159029ff657&rby=32957170-591b-4585-9949-27c07e587bb6

http://www.globalcitizen.org/Content/Content.aspx?id=696d565e-8266-4fde-aed2-b700a7967ddb&rby=32957170-591b-4585-9949-27c07e587bb6

http://www.globalcitizen.org/Content/Content.aspx?id=1cbff490-7ef5-435e-adea-135d203d36d0&rby=32957170-591b-4585-9949-27c07e587bb6

http://www.globalcitizen.org/Content/Content.aspx?id=b2ab3cbe-6690-4f57-a07f-fc0c62862e26&rby=32957170-591b-4585-9949-27c07e587bb6

http://www.globalcitizen.org/Content/Content.aspx?id=dda0183b-dd86-40f3-a9a9-49b6a1b8ae6e&rby=32957170-591b-4585-9949-27c07e587bb6

this wasn't supposed to happen

It's business as usual for early July, which means the weather is too hot, work's quieting down, and we are constantly broke. The stress of the latter is really beating me down...except for the couple of months after the holiday jewelry sales, it's always a squeeze. And the constant anxiety has been making my life generally unhappy. And I suppose it's been hard to reconcile myself to such reduced circumstances...maybe that's why I always feel so frustrated. And less-than. I think I'm going to cry if one more person asks what I'm doing for summer vacation. (Answer: I'm spending a long weekend in the Poconos, because my aunt can afford to send me a bus ticket; and I'm spending a long weekend in Bucks Country, because I can afford the $30 train ticket.)

I'm bummed out that I haven't been able to afford to stock up on materials to make a lot more goods for the crafts fair in November...once my recent trigger finger surgery permits such things, And it's hard to know what kind of effort I need to make in order to sell more. Would an Etsy store be worth the fuss? I'm pretty sure going to jewelry stores to try to consign my work would not be worth the fuss and could lead to more aggravation. The last place where I consigned my jewelry was the typical consignment experience: the store owner marked my work up way too much, making it unsellable; then she stopped returning phone calls; then it was like pulling teeth to get my goods back. I've never made enough on consignment sales to justify all the hassle.

As weird as it seems to me, Barry can start collecting social security in January; apparently he makes little enough to do it. I suppose we might as well d it now, since who knows how much longer there'll even be social security, and it'll add another $1,400 to our monthly income.

But it just feels sad and pathetic overall. I'm so tired of "no, we can't go out to dinner/a concert/go on vacation," can't shop for clothes or shoes, can't see a movie in a theater, and don't have a dime put aside. This wasn't supposed to happen.

current affairs of the mind

It's kind of nice to do research in these wired days. No more hit-and-miss searches of library branches - or the thing I really disliked, having to sit in libraries reading journals from huge binders. Instead: Wikipedia. Documentaries online or on Netflix. Connections with people on Facebook, by email. Articles from all over the world. Goodreads. My tablet. On and on. A good result of those library days is that it's fairly easy to sniff out which material is thorough and accurate, and which is speculation and crap. I can catch and interest and begin satisfying my curiosity almost immediately, and can attain immersion or satisfaction in days or weeks.

Two topics grabbed me recently: the FLDS (Fundamentalist Latter-Day Saints), and Henry VIII. Go figure. The FLDS is a splinter group that broke off from the Church of Latter-Day Saints (aka the Mormon church), which became deeply weird and cruel under the leadership of Warren Jeffs. He's in prison now, but apparently still leading the sect from his cell. Both the mainstream LDS and the fringe splinters are fascinating because it's a recent religion, formed in the last century, and a wholly American one.

I can't remember what triggered my interest in the FLDS, but I caught the Henry VIII thing from reading The Other Boleyn Girl. It's fiction, but gave a good starting peek into Henry's reign. (Maybe I'm on a despot kick, with Jeffs and Henry.) I have a couple of non-fiction books yet to read, waiting in my tablet, but I am currently binge-watching  a fictionalized account on Netflix, The Tudors. I always found the whole English monarchy business kind of a bore (and the modern one truly is), but this business of Henry hijacking the Catholic church to get a divorce is pretty amazing stuff. More old monarchy reads to follow, I'm sure.

I'm now reading Bengali Harlem by Vivek Bald, which I had on hold at the library. (Yes, I still use the library, requesting holds online.) It's about Bengali immigrants to the US in the early 20th century, and how many settled in communities of color and intermarried with black, Puerto Rican, Cuban and Creole people. The book is proving a little dryer than expected, but it's still a nice slice of history.

I realize this is not much of a catch-up on the past month, but it's a start.

yes, it really happened

Amitabh Bachchan came to town for the red-carpet premiere of The Great Gatsby at Lincoln Center. Tickets were invitation only, but quite a few of his fans went to the red carpet to support him. I head that we made so much noise that the media initially thought DiCaprio had arrived. Some of the "EF" ("Extended Family," the fan group from his blog) arranged three meet-ups with him, and I was in one of the Saturday groups. It was only ten of us, sitting in a circle with him in a meeting room at the Carlyle (where he was staying). He spent about half an hour or forty-five minutes with us, mostly answering questions. Then everyone got pictures taken and autographs signed, and gave him all kinds of gifts. (I made him a turquoise bracelet, and an agate-and-carnelian necklace for Jaya, who was in the city but not at the meet.

It was nice to meet some of the other EF. Rochelle and I were the only white girls there, and most of the rest were men. Everyone was quite lovely. Some had traveled from Atlanta, Rhode Island, Florida.

Amitabh was quite friendly and pleasant. It didn't occur to me until later, though, that he didn't ask anyone about themselves. I think he truly loves his fans but in an abstract way; he requires the ego boost, but has no intention of having particular friends among the fans. There are some he recognizes and knows of, those who comment on the blog and tweet with him every day. I've been somewhat absent over the past months, but quite a few of the EF knew who I was. I don't believe there are any other "Jennifers" in the crowd, and I certainly don't look like any of the others. He did pause in his recent blogs to say how much he appreciated seeing us all. We're a mirror where he sees what he likes. Still, it was no small thing to have met him, and it was nice that he created a relaxed atmosphere. Most of us were quite nervous beforehand.

The rest of my life goes well, busy. I passed two years at my job and got a nice raise. I'm traveling a little this month - to Jannah's over Memorial Day weekend, and the weekend after, to Philadelphia to see a staged reading of a play my father wrote. My uncle arranged the whole Philly thing, and is paying for our train fare and hotel. Joyce and Joe are also coming, which is really nice.

It turns out that one of the EF, Nimmi, lives in Yardley, so we'll keep a lookout for each other at the Memorial Day parade, although Jannah is not fond of Indian women. (She says all of their husbands beat them, and they permit it. She has certain views that I do not share, to say the least.)

It's going to be nice to get away. And I'm taking vacation the first week in July, just to have a break, and to take advantage of July 4 - one week's vacation for only four vacation days.

The bad news is that I have another bad trigger finger, and am seeing the doctor on Wednesday. The treatment for the thumb and pinky is usually a cortisone shot (which worked well on my pinky), but this one is a middle finger and I'm afraid it may require surgery. Bummer. I'm drawing a blank on any pain associated with the last surgery, but I sure do remember wearing the little brace and going for six weeks of OT (occupational therapy).

I've been back at making jewelry of late - had some repairs to do, and a few commissions, and I'm starting to gear up for the November crafts fair. The last one was so successful that we're doing it again.I gave myself six months last year, and the same this year. I had pretty much laid off for a few months after the holidays, but I'm really enjoying it again, although keeping wire and headpins stocked is tricky.I can easily use 60 headpins in a "fringe" necklace, so buying 100 doesn't even last two projects. I'm using only silver-filled pins now, and moving to silver-filled wire. I want to stay with sterling clasps as much as possible but am looking into filled and plated as well. Even though I'm charging healthy prices ($75 each for the two fringe necklaces I'm making), the cost of silver is pretty frightening. Even with the silver-filled wire, I'm measuring the pieces I cut, rather than just eyeballing them. Fortunately, I still have a LOT of beads, and a decent stock of earwires. I'm also using a little more gold-filled, since I have some sitting around and it's a nice look for earrings. Chain is a problem because there just isn't a lot of nice silver-filled chain around. I bought a foot-and-a-half of sterling chain for $23 some months back, and I'm totally hoarding it. The days of lavish silver chain-based bracelets and necklaces are a dim memory. I do still have plenty of shorter bits of silver chain for earrings, and I'll just have to wait for better silver-filled chain to come along.

That nice piece of sterling chain will probably become a necklace, dripping with some larimar nuggets I changed to find at a very good price. Larimar is obscenely expensive. I have a couple dozen faceted larimar beads I've been holding on to for dear life. I own a very few pieces myself: a small cab in a silver bracelet I bought in St. Croix in the 90s; a big pendant given to me by an old boyfriend in the 80s (he has family in the Dominican Republic, which is the only place larimar is found). And I have a pair of big heart-shaped stud earrings that my stepmother was nice enough to bring me from the Caribbean when she and my dad were on a cruise.

Well, the bad finger is nagging me, so it's time to relax a bit. I worked until eight tonight, so I'll have to finish the second necklace tomorrow night (it only needs about an hour). I was planning to ask the hand doctor to try cortisone, but I'm starting to think it's going to be surgery. The finger aches all the way down to my palm.